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for you

for you i would start running

tie up my laces and just go

i would run and run and run

until the best version of me is the only one that you'll ever get to know

i say "you" on purpose

because for me that won't ever be true

i've lived through every version

but not all will live with you

not all will be obvious

some i've hidden away

some i taught to be quiet

because i didn't quite like what they had to say

so some only write

some still hate to read

some look at me

like i hold back some answer they need

maybe i do

but not out of hate

it's because i don't wanna see them settle

because they're afraid of being too late

afraid of love leaving

love may decide to leave

afraid of love staying

love will become whatever you believe

some versions of me are hidden

stuffed away in an old drawer

i couldn't bring myself to get rid of them

when i wasn't like them anymore

for you i would open the drawer

no matter how painful it may be

because i want you to love and admire

every version that has ever existed of me

for you i would love them harder

i would keep them safe and unharmed

i would open the drawer slowly

so as to not cause them to be alarmed

i would speak to them softly

i would allow them to finally speak

i would unlearn every opinion

that made me think that they were weak

because for you i would stop running

i would learn to love the worst that i've been

for you i would step back

and let some "lesser" version of me get to win

the unlovable

the annoying

the too much way too soon

the "met people in the morning and of course scared them away by the afternoon"

the stupid

the imposter that doesn't deserve to be

the wishes her heart away for some future version (that's me)

the dramatic

the confusing

the always thinks she's second best

the one who shakes from her anxiety who works until she's forced to rest

for you i would start walking

every version of me in hand

then i would have to sit down

because some versions i still can't stand


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