January has been crazy.
I planned on writing once or twice a week, but this month has been a whirlwind already to say the least. The days fly by so fast where I'm at. I've been in my feels. So many emotions flowing through my head constantly, even as I type this out.
Rewind a little bit, I had my sentencing on November 13th, 2023. I was sentenced to 10 years, with 8 suspended. Went to county that day, sat there 16 days and was transported to the woman's prison and sat there for 29 days. On December 27th I was transported to Centre, Inc. in Fargo. I see parole in March. I started working out in the real world again -- which is awesome!!! I feel like a normal person again. Working every day keeps me busy and my mind off things. I miss Kayce and Scout more than anything, and I cannot wait to be home soon!
Aside from all the good in my life right now, I've been struggling to stay strong with the bad news. Dad thought he was having a stroke a couple weeks ago, was taken in the ambulance and found out he has Bell's Palsy. So glad he is ok!! But not being able to be home with him while he's going through this rough change in his life has really been eating me up. While I was in prison, dads uncle also passed. I think my sister has needed me more than anything recently. My mom went infront of the parole board this past week once again, and they denied her once again, giving her another year to sit. The devastation has never hit so hard. We all thought she would be coming home. I thought for sure I would finally be getting my mom back!! At the times I have needed her the most.
Over the past couple months I have been able to come to peace and forgive myself for the crime I committed. But since being at Centre, that's one more thing I have been struggling with to keep in my mind. I came back to the real world only to find out someone who I thought was my best friend, doesn't want a single thing to do with me anymore. I have no idea why, and I keep telling myself over and over that I don't need anyone in my life that doesn't need me; but fuck do I miss her.
I miss everyone so much. Won't be long before I'm home -- but not soon enough for me. I'm staying strong!! I owe myself, and my family, that much. Think this was another ramble sesh, but I needed it. Never pictured myself blogging ever!! It definitely helps clear the mind. Weight lifting for sure.
For the ones that don't care; peace.
For the ones that do care; 🤍
Til Next Time - AR
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